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« on: November 13, 2006, 10:51:20 PM » |
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Today, my mom came home and told me about her day at the Hospital, where she works. She was talking about random crap that happened and then, out of no where, threw this amazing line at me,
"There was a girl in the waiting room for the E.R. today, she was there because we had to remove Gummy Bears from her vagina."
I stood frozen, I could only blink and listen to my inner child die slowly after hearing such a sentence. They say that your inner child dies once you realize that your parents are just normal people like the rest of us. For a long time, I believed that. It wasn't until today that I realized that a small portion of my little-self was still clinging on, grasping for life, until my own mother stepped on his fingers and spat on him as he fell into a pit of infinite darkness.
If that weren't enough to kill my inner child, my response to the statement would have been the finishing blow.
" ...why not a Banana? ...or a frozen Hot Dog?"
I have been so scarred by the perversion of this world that I have no reason to ask why there were gummy bears in the girl's vagina. I already knew the answer.
Knowing this, my immediate thought was to ask why the woman didn't use a more practical object, and then proceeded to name off what I knew were the most popular vaginal/anal foreign bodies found in patients who visit the E.R. WHY THE FUCK DO I EVEN KNOW THAT SHIT? I mean, I've always thought of myself as a pervert, but now I'm a really creepy pervert with statistical knowledge about foreign bodies in the E.R. ... shit.
This incident was possibly more scarring than when my recently un-pregnant sister chased me around the house with her boob hanging out, shooting breast milk at me. ... I won't get into that, though, but you can indeed safely assume that my family is fairly absurd. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I will leave you with this intriguing thought... how do you suppose someone would remove gummy bears from a vagina, assuming the old poke and pull, hands on method didn't work? Ponder that, if you dare.
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« Last Edit: November 25, 2006, 08:53:08 PM by MetalMusicMan »
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« Reply #1 on: November 14, 2006, 03:57:31 PM » |
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Oh. My. God. That is probably the most disturbing rant I've ever read. Wow. Just wow.
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« Reply #2 on: November 14, 2006, 08:54:30 PM » |
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This incident was possibly more scarring than when my recently un-pregnant sister chased me around the house with her boob hanging out, shooting breast milk at me
what has this world gone to... |
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« Reply #3 on: November 14, 2006, 11:14:42 PM » |
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Well the gummy bear thing really is not that bad. It pairs two of my all time favorite foods.
I don't think I need to say what those are being this is not the XXX forum, but just imagine the greatness of the Vagina and the sweetness of gummy bears. I think i would love to eat that delicious delicacy.
And through all of this I am assuming that she is over the age of 18 (lol i am not Kag) and under the age of 30 (old ppl scare me).
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« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2006, 08:07:27 PM » |
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come to think of it, eating gummy bears out of a girls happy place would be kinda nice...
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« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2006, 10:34:36 AM » |
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I don't think the flavors are complimentary...
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« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2006, 01:18:31 PM » |
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The HELL they are not complimentary... ambrosia and gummy bears are the perfect combo. And should be eaten with the utmost vigor and sensitivity.
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« Reply #7 on: April 15, 2008, 10:48:31 PM » |
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THIS NEEDS A NECRO, I DO DECLARE!
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« Reply #8 on: April 15, 2008, 10:56:19 PM » |
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THIS NEEDS A NECRO, I DO DECLARE!
i would eat gummy bears out of a girls vagina, as long as they werent there for more than a few seconds also nice zakath necro |
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« Reply #9 on: April 15, 2008, 10:59:23 PM » |
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THIS NEEDS A NECRO, I DO DECLARE!
i would eat gummy bears out of a girls vagina, as long as they werent there for more than a few seconds also nice zakath necro i think it was needed. those would taste really weird... not combination of flavors that i think would work well |
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« Reply #10 on: April 15, 2008, 11:31:34 PM » |
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I agree, this is a funky story and worthy of a Necro haha.
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« Reply #11 on: April 16, 2008, 08:21:56 AM » |
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omg... that is pretty disturbing... my parents treat me like an adult i guess, they gave me the talk about using a condom and stuff like that, and they don't mind if i skip meals(well not that much, but i think they're catching on, on why i'm underweight : \) but that is pretty disturbing. i mean my little sister had to goto the hospital to get a crayon removed from her nose... twice... she never learned : \ i don't really want to imagine what the hell happened, and i wouldn't be surprised if it was a little kid who did it : \
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« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2008, 05:41:41 PM » |
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Maybe she was just saving them for later.
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« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2008, 07:43:05 PM » |
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Maybe she was just saving them for later.
/thread |
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« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2008, 08:07:32 AM » |
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Oh. My. God. That is probably the most disturbing rant I've ever read. Wow. Just wow.
Maybe she was just saving them for later.
Evolution of The Gamdol. |
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