I Just got back from the Rockstar Energy Drink Mayhem festival, it was a pretty good time, definitely a worthy successor to Ozzfest.
The headlining band was Slipknot, but I didn't stay to see them. It's not that I don't like the band, they're cool enough. It's just that Dragonforce and Disturbed were playing first and I wasn't willing to sit through Dragonforce AND Disturbed just to see Slipknot.
...that's like asking someone to put themselves through repeated kicks to the balls in order to get a blow job-- sure, blow jobs are awesome, but they just aren't worth that much pain and suffering.36 Crazyfists started the day off and they were awesome, LOVE THOSE GUYS, I got really owned during moshing with them though and I instantly remembered why I don't mosh on asphalt anymore
(see pic)
Never mosh on asphalt or oogle a trailer whore's tattoo
After that I had some kind of concussion or heat stroke or something so I sat down for like 40 minutes and breathed heavily, it was a blast! :\ I hate feeling like I'm going to pass out, it sucks. Water was 5 dollars, yay.
At some point, I was trying to read a tattoo on the lower back of a generic trailer-living-creature... It said something about "not having regrets because they are either experiences or lessons" or something of that nature.
While I was trying to decipher the words, the apparent sibling of the tatoo's host walked over to me and asked if I was "starring at her little sister's sweet ass".
I promptly replied "no, I'm reading the tattoo", but alas, it was too late.
She waved the owner of the tattoo over and told her that I was "looking at her ass but covering it up by saying that I was looking at her tatoo", and then she pulled her sister's pants down and exposed her thong and was like, "did you get a good look?" Then she motioned for us to talk to each other or have some sort of mating ritual I guess.
...mind you, this would have been awesome if I had actually wanted to see the girl's ass... but I didn't. ...mostly. She was thin and had an okay face... I mean, she wasn't ugly, she just seemed a bit... well it seemed like she probably lived in an RV and ate nothing but coleslaw for her entire life. She might have been attractive otherwise...
Fuck you, coleslaw.
Never mosh on asphalt or oogle a trailer whore's tattoo
Anyway, later on Walls of Jericho played and they were fucking great. Candice from Walls of Jericho is so hot, even though she probably has a bigger dick than me, she's soooo hot. Great vocalist too.
Machine Head was amazing as expected, they played well and put on a great show, and definitely had the biggest crowd following on the side stages.
So, with the exception of Underoath, the show had a pretty strong line up. When they played, I wanted to slap that entire stupid band-- their front man was up on stage talking about Jesus Christ and how it's saved his life and bla bla bla shut the fuck up. On top of that, he wasn't even singing his vocals, they were playing on a tape and he was just doing minor vocals and screams over them. What a fucking poser.
All in all a great concert for $40, and the moral of the story is that I will never again mosh on asphalt or oogle the tattoo of a coleslaw eating RV queen.
