Review: Children of Men

[MetalMusicMan]

Children of Men takes place in the near future, when all women have lost the ability to reproduce, and thus, the youngest people on earth are around the age of 18.  All major cities have crumbled under societal chaos, save Britain, which remains.  Britain is basically a huge Nazi, they allow Brits and only Brits to stay within the relatively safe area of the city, and ship out / deport all immigrants (former French or U.S. citizens, etc.) to concentration camps of sorts. 

The main character, Theo, is played by Clive Owen.  Through a series of events he ends up meeting a girl who is somehow actually pregnant, and the movie focuses on their attempt to escape Britain and the surrounding dangerously chaotic territories in attempts to reach a "new world" where a new civilization is trying to be made, as all hope has been given up on the known world recovering from the state that it's in.

Sounds like a cool movie, huh?  Yeah, I thought so too.  Unfortunately, it wasn't very impressive.  Reading the intro paragraph, you might be interested in seeing this movie, but there are a few things that you should know before taking the time to watch it-- this is not a spoiler, just a general warning:

• By the end of the movie, you still don't know why women are not able to have babies.
• By the end of the movie, you do not find out why the ONE girl who is pregnant in the movie is capable of being pregnant.
• By the end of the movie, you'll ask yourself, "Why the hell was Julianne Moore even in this movie?"
• By the end of the movie, you will wonder, "What was the point of having a fat, nappie-haired lady dance around and chant like an Indian?"
• By the end of the movie, nothing is accomplished, you will realize that you have watched 2 hours of a pregnant black woman running through dirty cities, and you still don't know what the fuck is going to happen to the human race.

"Julianne, do you think that anyone will suspect that this movie goes no where and accomplishes nothing?"
"I don't know, Clive, all I know is that I should get a better agent, because I was in this movie for a total of about 5 fucking seconds."

Clive Owen straight up pisses me off.  He has all of this awesome aura of weird British drama about him, so you'd expect him to make a good actor-- instead, I've seen one good Clive Owen movie to date; Sin City.  Everything else he's ever been in, as far as I know, has sucked, let's go down the list:  King Arthur, Derailed, that one bank robbing movie with Densel Washington, bla bla bla.  Foo-ie.  Anyway, Clive Owen disappoints me because I see potential in his acting skills, and yet he has impressed me on so few occasions.  That statement, in a nutshell, can also be applied to his latest movie as a whole, Children of Men.

Children of Men looked AMAZING when I saw the previews for it, I thought it was going to be some kind of huge, life altering, amazing British movie of awesomeness.  Instead, it turned out to have a lot of strange style-istic shots and cool sets / locations, but a terrible plot, and no explanation of anything.  It was one of those movies where they just plop you in a situation and don't explain anything, so that you go along the ride not knowing what's going on, but in order to pull that off, you have to actually conclude or explain something by the end of it, which this movie did not do.  Disappointing and kind of a waste of time, which is sad, because I really wanted to like it.

Okay, so it wasn't a terrible movie, but it should have been more and it wasn't, and in some ways, that's worse than it just sucking flat out.  Nothing was explained, nothing was concluded, the movie starts no where and ends no where.  It had such a cool theme going for it, but nothing is accomplished or gone over at all, which makes it impossible to identify with any of the characters, and I hate that, because given the awesome situation that the movie takes place in, I really wanted to identify with them.  Again, not a terrible movie, but terribly disappointing.

See it if you're bored, but there are many better choices.

[Yoggi]

other than clive owen, interesting. i want clive owens babies

[spidey]

It was an interesting look at what things have been like for certain people and what they could be like. I also thought it was gonna be a lot more enlightening .

[radium88]

Watch Closer.

[MetalMusicMan]

I've never seen Closer.  Perhaps I shall.

[sonchez]

I saw part of this on TBS. The fact that it was on TBS says it all lol.

[Syphien]

I saw part of this on TBS. The fact that it was on TBS says it all lol.

Angel was / is on TBS and it's one of the best series that I've ever seen.  However, for the most part I guess that holds true. I haven't really seen much.

[sonchez]

lol angel is terrible as was buffy. here is buffy "o hai im bad at acting, and the plot to this show is retarded. pretend to be a wannabe goth with me and watch me make out with guys wearing eye makeup and to much leather. Dun get mad Freddie Prince Jr, i dun actuly liek them, i juz acting." Here's angel "o hai im also bad at acting, but since you're watching this you probably watched buffy meaning you don't care. i'm  guna go solve a mystery k? O luk a  demon-like thing. I killed it so its fine dun worry LOLOLOLOLOOL. I'm depressed in case you didn't notice, i am vampire who regrets stuff. FML" lol

[MetalMusicMan]

lol sonchez.

Angel is a great series though, one of my all time favorites, so I have to disagree even though that was a hilarious parody.  Buffy was good for the first season or two then it sucked balls for a few years until it finally ended.

With Angel, there is a lot of great life lesson-type crap that you probably would miss if you thought that the focus of the show was merely solving mysteries.

[radium88]

Agreed with Will on that one.  Most series do become stupid after a few seasons but for the most part they were both good.  Joss Whedon is amazing!  I really enjoyed Firefly and Dr. Horrible's Sing a Long Blogs.  Firefly was another awesome series and I'm sad that it ended.

I thought Closer was good.  It mainly focuses on developing characters and just because it was on TBS doesn't mean anything.

[Yoggi]

deep breath...

FIREFLY IS THE GREATEST SCI FI SHOW EVER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I WANT TO HAVE ITS BABIES SO THERE ARE MORE OF ITS AND SERENITY IS THE MOST FUCKING INCREDIBLE SCI FI MOVIE EVER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWAFFLES

that is all

[radium88]

deep breath...

FIREFLY IS THE GREATEST SCI FI SHOW EVER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I WANT TO HAVE ITS BABIES SO THERE ARE MORE OF ITS AND SERENITY IS THE MOST FUCKING INCREDIBLE SCI FI MOVIE EVER OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGWAFFLES

that is all

HAHAHAHAHAHA!  That was awesome Yoggi.  Anyways........I KNO RITE?!!!!!!  I BORROWED MY FRIEND'S BOX SET AND WATCHED ALL OF IN MAYBE 2 OR 3 DAYS!!  I would have watched it in one sitting but school, food, and sleep hindered me from doing so. Serenity was pretty good but ZOMG THE SERIES WAS WAY AWESOMER.

[sonchez]

joss whedon is terrible. here is his formula. Get hot chick, put her in tight clothes and have her battle supernatural things that aren't scary.  I personally enjoy seeing hot women in tight clothes hahaha, but that doesn't mean it makes the show good, because it doesn't ever. unless he hires Heidi klum.....then we re-evaluate.
before any of you say it, angel may not be physically a girl, but he has a gay name and he whines and bitches like he is going through menopause.

[radium88]

I think you have that formula confused with Michael Bay minus the supernatural things.  [Haha I know he doesn't really follow that and not really a writer, but I just thought of him for some reason.  http://my.spill.com/profiles/blog/show?id=947994%3ABlogPost%3A355506   because of page 28. And Transformers]

The fact that Angel is named Angel and he is a vampire and use to be bad, plus the conception of vampires, doesn't it make his name somewhat of a paradox?  I think that is interesting. 

Firefly is not about a hot chick.  Its main character is actually about a captain (Nathan Fillion) and his crew and it is a space western type of show.  The captain was my favorite.  His character was phenomenal.  There really isn't anything about supernatural beings, mostly aliens.  Also, Dr. Sing Along Blog has NPH in it and Nathan Fillion again has nothing to do with supernatural beings. It's about a scientist who's trying to get into the Evil League of Evil Scientists or something...and he blogs about it.

If that formula refers to only Buffy episodes, well duh. The main character is a girl and you can't really change that and she's a vampire slayer.  What is she going to do, kill colossi in the next one?

I also looked up Dollhouse since I'm not familiar with it and I might watch it now.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollhouse_(TV_series)

And read his webcomic. Apparently he helped write Runaways and I liked reading that.

http://www.myspace.com/darkhorsepresents

[MetalMusicMan]

Yes, firefly is also amazing