Alright, let me start by saying, once again, FUCK YOU PC ONLY PEOPLE.
Now that that is out of the way, on to the reviews! Braid and Castle Crashers are both relatively new games that were released on the XBox Live Arcade for 15 dollars each (or 1200 Microsoft Points). From here on out I'll break down both of these amazing games for everyone here.
Dual Game Review: Braid & Castle Crashers (XBox Live Arcade)
First up is Braid, a 2-D platformer that brings back everything I loved about the genre. The puzzles range from simple to very complex, and getting the ultra-extras requires brain power the likes of which no single human being has possessed for centuries. In typical game-review fashion (at least for The Gamdol), I'll break it down into parts.
Controls: Awesome. Being a 2-D game, there wasn't much in terms of controls.
Left Stick: Move
A: Jump
B: Interact
X: Time Rewind
Y: Time Slow (an ability you gain later)
R/L: Speed Up/Slow Down your rewind (only active while X is pressed)
Time control? Yes, time control. Amazingly well done and integrated time control. You never die of course, but surely simple rewinding of time cannot be awesomeness worthy of $15? While time rewind may not be amazingly awesome (even though it is), the way they expand upon the idea is utterly amazing as the worlds go on. Each level has its own sort of "gimmick" in terms of time control, so you never really use the same solution more than once. It is really hard to explain, so I'll give you a some examples:
1) Green shaded objects that aren't affected by your time control power.
2) When you move right, time moves forward. When you move left, time rewinds. This is outside your own power, leading to a level that moves with you.
3) A shadow clone summoned every time you rewind, who repeats the next 10 or so seconds of what you did before you rewound. (THIS ONE IS AWESOME)
Moving on, let's talk about the story. The story isn't delivered in the best way possible, largely through text books you can read before going into the levels within the worlds, and even then they aren't really a functioning story, so much as a brief idea of a story that conveys the theme of the world. Yeah, every world has a theme to it. If you play through the game at a rush just to reach the end, you might not catch it, but even your powers for that level reflect the theme. (Shadow clone for instance is based on the idea of the path you take in life, and the ability to use your power to take multiple paths at once). Even deeper within the story, is a story about real life occurrences (I'm gonna be honest, I didn't even notice them until I read it online, but it is definitely true). The ending to this game is ABSOLUTELY AMAZING. I DID NOT SEE IT COMING IN THE LEAST. I ALMOST FELL OUT OF MY FUCKING CHAIR, THAT'S HOW AWESOME IT WAS. The ending alone is enough reason to buy the game and play through it. I very well may have shat my pants when I saw it. I was stunned as it unfolded. (The unfolding was about a minute long, BUT THE BEST FUCKING MINUTE EVER).
Dual Game Review: Braid & Castle Crashers (XBox Live Arcade)
The only real other thing to talk about is graphics, and as a 2-D game, I didn't really expect much. Even so, my expectations were blown away. The game looks very nice, and the environment and design fits so well with what is going on that I gave it it's own section. I honestly loved this game. It was relatively short (took me about 5-6 hours to reach the "first" ending), but it was absolutely worth it. I loved every minute of it. My brain was tested to solve some of the trickier puzzles, my brain was shattered when I saw the end. The whole time I was actually enjoying myself, which is sadly not true of many games today.
I give my extremely profound and scholarly recommendation to this game. It was worth every cent. The flaws in this game are small, such as the story telling (EXCEPT THE FUCKING AMAZING ENDING OMG OMG), but the game is so unique that you HAVE to play it. If you have an XBox, you need to get this game. If you don't have an XBox, find a friend who does, make him get it, then borrow his XBox to play it. It is seriously worth it.
Dual Game Review: Braid & Castle Crashers (XBox Live Arcade)
Sorry for the random picture, it's all I could find on google.
The next amazing game for $15 is called Castle Crushers. Too describe this game, I'm going to require past knowledge of a great SEGA game. Hopefully, everyone has played Golden Axe at least once in their lifetime. It was a classic side-scrolling game based around defeating some dark dude. A "3-D" world in a sense you can move into it, but only side to side to progress or backtrack. (If you're still in the dark, maybe the Final Fight series will help you? No? You're hopeless you ignoramus) Ok, now that we have that foundation of Golden Axe built, add in RPG elements such as leveling (not tedious leveling though), weapons found from beating foes or looking in the right places, and "stat point" to upgrade your damage, magic, defense, or speed. Now that you have that, add in large amounts of humor (even sometimes crude humor), a cartoonish look, and you're relatively close to the game Castle Crashers.
As with Braid, you aren't asked to hold the controller in some weird fashion to succeed (HI TOO HUMAN, LOOKING AT YOU ON THIS ONE), and once again, simple controls help start this game in the right direction, while slightly more complex combos and enemies make you use them differently as time goes on.
Left Stick: Move
L-Trigger: Block
R-Trigger: Activate Magic
X: Light Attack (Weak Cast)
Y: Heavy Attack (Strong Cast)
A: Jump
B: Use Inventory Item (Projectile Cast)
L/R-Bumper: Toggle Inventory Item
Simple, right? It actually does a good job of blending magic and physical attacking, and I never felt like I was burdened to swap back and forth between them during a combat situation. On the contrary, if I used them right I could excel where normal attacks would not. I played as a Blue Knight, whose magic attack is ice-based. If I was getting cornered, I could use the strong magic cast to freeze the enemies in front of me in place, then land a pretty damaging physical combo on them as I broke them out of the ice. Once I got the trick down I began using it in normal fights (again, very nice because your magic is on a constant recharge [it took approximately 5-7 seconds to completely refill once I had my magic level about halfway up]). The combat was fun, and juggling enemies between a ground combo into a throw into an air combo was always fun, no matter how many times I did it. Though in my brief time in the game (I didn't completely beat it yet unfortunately) I wasn't able to play with the people I know that got it, so I only got to play single player. However, multiplayer through multiple controllers or XBox Live is available, up to 4 players in a game. I did do my research however, and found that everything still flowed well, 2 players was the agreed upon optimal number, and 4 friends was fun but relatively easy due to the brute force 4 people possess.
Story-wise, I honestly have no idea. There is some, I think. I saw an evil guy steal some humongous crystal and kidnap 4 women (each one of whom I've rescued I've made out with on the spot), then, of course, spread them out across the countryside so it wouldn't be too easy for me to rescue them all. There isn't any talking or dialogue in this game, just beating up loads of enemies (AND SOME VERY WEIRD BUT FUNNY BOSSES). The events that are occurring the whole time had me laughing as well. Walking into a battle to see a tiny cartoon soldier trying CPR on another tiny cartoon soldier almost brought a tear to my eye, as did seeing a deer propel itself off-screen due to fear-induced projectile diarrhea. You can't make this shit up.
As for the RPG elements, they were done very well. The more times you hit enemies, the more experience you gain, and leveling up is a breeze. Since there isn't an inventory screen, weapons are "dropped" onscreen when you swap them, and any new weapons you get (as well as old ones) are available for swapping anytime in between missions by going to the blacksmith. The overview world map allows for fast (and I mean fast, I could move my guy from the farthest out level in the mountains to the blacksmith near the start in15-ish seconds) and easy travel anytime you "die" or complete a certain area and need to restock or change weapons/animal companion. WAIT WAIT WAIT GAMDOL, ANIMAL COMPANION? WTF IS THIS GAY HAPPY TIME BUTTFUCK EXPRESS?! No no no! Hear me out! Throughout the story, in addition to weapons, if you look in the right areas (usually behind destructible walls in the background), you'll find a variety of animals that will immediately fall in love with you, start following you, and give you a bonus. What kind of bonus? How about an elephant who gives you extra strength? A ram who can knock-over enemies? A cardinal who can find objects hidden in certain levels? NOT SO GAY NOW IS IT YOU FUCKING HATERS. All animals are housed in a building in the same "zone" as the blacksmith, so that one area provides your one stop item swap.
Since this double review is already getting long, I'll sum up the graphics part. The graphics are done in a cartoony style, but this only serves to amplify everything that is going on, and in noway detracts from the game at all. Once again, I recommend this game to all XBox owners. If you do get it, give me your gamertag so we can stomp our merry way through levels with oodles of fun.
