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Author Topic: Curses  (Read 1425 times)
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« on: April 09, 2008, 01:40:48 AM »

Bleeding out my wounds
Take the stake
Repay the wounds I make
With the fear I keep inside these rooms

Curse the clouds for casting above
Curse my soul for seeking love
Curse the symbol of a dove
And promise it made to me in vain
When all that it promised ran down the drain

Driving the stake deep within my heart
I tear myself apart
And find what’s truly me
Beside my soul, I can clearly see

Cursing the sand for resting idly
Cursing my parents for arguing loudly
Cursing the pain that reeks from me
And the wounds it left behind my skin
Forever locking my soul within

My soul rips right beside me
I take another hit for granted
Tearing asunder, the stake drives deeper
The splinters quench my thirst
Drive it in, black seeps down below my feet.
All that remains is my shadow
I fall to the earth down below

Cursed the gods and their might
Cursed what was wrong and was not right
Cursed what I felt back that night
And what I thought back then
Now I’m left with less than when I began.

I bided my time, and waited for what
 A symbol of time waiting for naught?
I searched deep within to find
That I cannot convince my mind
And time has done naught but remind

Curse the future for what it holds
Curse the past for what unfolds
Curse the present for what I couldn’t behold
It’s all about me and what I feel
For in the end, its all I’m left to conceal

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Yowza! Like a Hot Potato
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« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2008, 02:06:18 AM »

Ooh.  Tastey.  This is fairly "mainstream" in terms of lyrical flow for you, isn't it?  I like it though-- very catchy.

"And time has done naught but remind"  Sex.
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« Reply #2 on: April 09, 2008, 02:09:14 AM »

Ooh.  Tastey.  This is fairly "mainstream" in terms of lyrical flow for you, isn't it?  I like it though-- very catchy.

"And time has done naught but remind"  Sex.

funny thing was that i kind of had that in mind when i wrote it. i  wanted to do something less ambiguous, and have the lines be more coherent thoughts, instead of ideas.
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« Reply #3 on: April 09, 2008, 02:15:48 AM »

Yeah, it's good.  The "random big words" and whatnot create a nice illusion of depth but I think they can only carry you for so long before they get stale.  Not to say they can't be amazing on their own, just that they are less likely to be, especially the more they are churned out. 
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"How'd you get to be so smart?"
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« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2008, 02:17:34 AM »

Yeah, it's good.  The "random big words" and whatnot create a nice illusion of depth but I think they can only carry you for so long before they get stale.  Not to say they can't be amazing on their own, just that they are less likely to be, especially the more they are churned out. 

ya, i liked some of my newer stuff, but i felt like i was putting a lot out. not that i would want to do less (i put it out whenever i feel the urge to write) but i just wanted to do something different to break the cycle. i also havent written anything in a while before this.

i really want to develop my style more, and im going to be pursuing my writing minor in the next few semesters, so hopefully that will help.
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« Reply #5 on: April 09, 2008, 02:18:47 AM »

Yeah, personally I think the "abstract" poetry gets very old fast.  Like, the more you do it, the more shallow it becomes.  The first few seem amazing but then you start to see similarities and they loose their effect.
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"How'd you get to be so smart?"
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-- Duncan MacLeod, Highlander (S1E20)
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« Reply #6 on: April 09, 2008, 02:21:27 AM »

Yeah, personally I think the "abstract" poetry gets very old fast.  Like, the more you do it, the more shallow it becomes.  The first few seem amazing but then you start to see similarities and they loose their effect.

ya, i opened up to posting on the site, and it allowed me to show what i would normally just keep. what i write has always been just an expression of my mental state and it all usually comes out in less than a minute, then i go back and edit. its just funny that what comes out are the bigger more vague ideas.
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« Reply #7 on: April 09, 2008, 02:27:44 AM »

That's good though!  Because you are EVOLVING!  You gotta get that sheet out der mon, ch'yeah'uh... ermn... sorry.  I'm playing on my Troll in WoW atm.  Lulz.
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« Reply #8 on: April 09, 2008, 11:00:49 AM »

i very much liked this one, it was cool, and different.
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