Nowhere but Here and Completely Unaware

[WarKirby]

Welcome to the show, how may I perform the best I can?
Here we go, the curtains low and the dance is all there is
So sit on down, and watch this clown fall over and over again

Cut my strings and let me fall
Onto this stage of broken-glass debris
Punch your ticket as you leave
And I’ll be happy no longer even being me

I’ll make you laugh, if that’s your wish
But please forget that we’ve even met
Because what tore inside is now my pet
Growling softly behind its cage of sinew, bone and flesh

Hide it all behind a smile,
Everything’s a joke, and everyone laughs
The only joke is this circus;
Because it’s a record caught spinning on the same fucking track

Show me how to rub off this paint
That stains my cheeks, my lips, my face
Teach me how to see someone else inside this mirror
Teach me something, anything new
Cause every day, it’s all the same
And the person I see isn’t me

These lines drawn down his face tell the stories of scars not mine
And no one is left to explain: No fate but what we make

I could put this world aside, and just exist for all time
Never stopping for anyone else,
The Automatic Empire of Mine
Hold on for everyone else and exhale dust into the air
My eyes are clear and what I want is nothing,
And nothing every year

[Kumo]

This actually touched me.  Very good job. I wish I had your poetic skills.

[Uneven Pavement]

I liked this right up to here...

These lines drawn down his face tell the stories of scars not mine
And no one is left to explain: No fate but what we make

I could put this world aside, and just exist for all time
Never stopping for anyone else,
The Automatic Empire of Mine
Hold on for everyone else and exhale dust into the air
My eyes are clear and what I want is nothing,
And nothing every year

I think the first line of this section is great.  I like how you went from talking first-person in every stanza ("how may I perform...", "my strings", "I'll be happy...", "I'll make you laugh") then finally in this section change to "his face".  I think that is a meaningful "voice" change.  But then I lose the images you created and have a hard time connecting the rest with anything else, the final stanza is back to first-person and I get confused as to whether the duality was even intentional.

That's just my opinion though, based on how I read it.  Good job.

[MetalMusicMan]

As usual, I would prefer less rhyming   Not bad though, but not my favorite of yours-- definitely very good as usual though.

It's nice to have more Andy-poems since we haven't heard from you in a while



Also, Sarah Connor wants her line back

[Uneven Pavement]

As usual, I would prefer less rhyming  

?

[MetalMusicMan]

There was at least one rhyme in that poem, clearly far too many!

[Syphien]

No more rhyming I meant it!

[Uneven Pavement]

Anybody want a peanut?

[Syphien]

Anybody want a peanut?

<3!

[MetalMusicMan]

YOU ARE THE BRUTE SQUAD!