The Night of Debauchery

[WarKirby]

The following is an actual account from my friend Cameron Paul Perceful (full name per request), about his first trip to a Strip club, in St. Louis, MO.

WARNING PARENTAL DISCRETION IS ADVISED
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Ok, so it started with some pre-gaming in my room. I drank a jack & coke , then we got in the car and I drank another one on the way.

We got there, paid, went in and sat down. It was immediately pretty sweet. We were at PT's Brooklyn. This place is not a topless bar. It is a fully nude strip club. We sit down at a table rather than at a stage, and begin watching. We get free coke because we're minors. Except my friend Rambo. For some reason he wasn't carded, so he ordered a beer.

All is well, as one of the dancers gets of stage (wearing nothing but a thong) and we pay her to give our sober driver a lap dance.

We had all bought tickets to a 'hot tub show', so when they announce it we go upstairs. Four girls get in, and begin hard-core pornographic acts on each other. We slap ones on their asses to egg them on.

I go back downstairs, watch some dances. One attractive stripper comes up and asks how I liked the hot tub show. I said it was well. She then tells me that there's gonna be another one and she'll be in it and I should go. The following is a representation of the ensuing conversation.

Alexis: "So you should totally come see this next show"
Cameron: "Well, that last hot tub show was cool and all, but I feel like I could use some personal attention. Some me time"
Alexis: "Well, I can do that too..."

The regular price for a one-song dance is $40, plus $10 (you have to buy a VIP pass to get to the private area). The hot tub show costs $10.

I convince her to give me a three-song dance, the VIP pass (which gets you in the club for free), and a ticket to the hot tub show for $80. I feel pretty good about myself.

I watch some dances, have my face shoved in all sorts of women parts for a while.

They make the announcement for the show, so I head upstairs. It's my stripper, Alexis, and some other chick. They jump in, start with the kissing and the cunnilingus. Then they break out the toys. Stripper 2 does my stripper, then my stripper does Stripper 2. Stripper 2 happens to be a crazy squirter. Quite interesting, I must say.

Now here's when the night goes downhill. About an hour goes by and no private dance. My group wants to leave, I say fuck you I want the meaningless physical contact. More time goes by, and they bitch at me more. I go to the manager. Excuses. I go back again. Excuses. I go back again. He finally tells me where she is and I go talk to her myself. I tell her they want to leave, and I want my private time. She convinces my friends to wait some more so she can go take care of splitting the hot tub money with the squirty chick, and I give them each a dollar to appease a stripper. We wait about ten minutes.

She then walks up to me, wearing only a thong and just says to me with a sly smile:

"You, it's time"

We head upstairs to a private booth thing. She tells me: "The rules are I can't take my bottoms off and we cant do anything down there, but because you had to wait so much and I like you we're gonna pretend that rule doesn't exist. I'm gonna make this up to you"

The next...some time I didn't keep track of..was basically soft-core porn. She basically lets me touch her anywhere, and in fact makes me do it. She also encourages my face/mouth to have fun. Her nipple were pierced, and it was a new experience. Then she basically mounts me reverse cowgirl and pulls her thong aside. She takes my hand, and places it squarely on her fun parts. And she moves my hand around to start rubbing her. I take the hint

The rest of the time consists of her massaging my penis through my jeans with her hands and mouth (I think there's a rule against felatio and things), and I am rubbing her and penetrating her with two fingers. She made a comment that meant something like this:

Alexis: "Do you play guitar?"
Cameron: "Yeah, I do"
Alexis: "I could tell by the way you use your fingers"

It was pretty sweet. She of course sounded very into it, moaning loudly as I slapped her ass and shit, saying lots of flattering things to me. It was fun, but I have no illusions. She's a stripper and I paid her. Whether or not she actually liked me or meant any of the flattering things, she would say that to anyone. But I digress

She made orgasm sounds and her muscles all tensed up, very good fake. She gave me a little kiss and said it was fun. I said it was my pleasure and then she said 'no I think it was mine.' She then asked me my name. I told her and asked hers. She told me and laughed and said, 'I like how we exchange names after everything, it's awesome.' I chuckled as well. She gave me one of those seductive hugs so I could feel her ass again (I think she figured out I'm an ass man).

Then, she said I should come back and see her again. We probably will sometime, and I'd get another dance from her. Behind the stripper guise, she actually seemed like she's a pretty cool chick that would be fun to hang out with. But I digress again.

I told her I'd be back, and we said goodbye. Then, she did something that genuinely surprised me. She gave me a hug. Not the same kind as I previosly mentioned. A genuine hug that I would get from any one of my better chick friends. It caught me off guard. Maybe she felt bad for waiting, maybe she thought I seemed cool too. Maybe it was cause I'm such a nice guy, even when it's a stripper I payed so I could objectify her.

Funny thing was, when I talked to her and negotiated the price with her, I was actually damned smooth.

I guess when all pretenses (and clothes) are gone, I'm not my usual bumbling idiot self. Why the fuck can't I be like this normally?

Well, after that little experience ended we left. I think it was around 3, maybe a bit later.


And that was my night of debauchery

[MetalMusicMan]

Oh man, I hope the guys who are looking into this site to see if I am a good candidate for Web Design at Seth's work don't read this article, lmfao!  It's fucking funny though so I've gotta leave it.  They probably already passed me off for using the F word so many times though, hahaha.

Funny story, but I've gotta say, it's easy to be smooth with a stripper-- so I'd say that the reason you aren't usually that smooth is because you aren't usually talking to strippers.  So I wouldn't put too much faith in whatever prowess you may have shown here. 

But definitely a good write and well written, minus some missed commas and periods and minor grammar.  Good work!

[Desdenova]

Sir; my grammer is well, as such.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story.  I very much enjoyed making it

As far with my 'prowess', don't worry.  I know it means nothing.  Unless I go around paying every woman I meet....  I was proud of my money haggling skills though

[WarKirby]

Sir; my grammer is well, as such.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story.  I very much enjoyed making it

As far with my 'prowess', don't worry.  I know it means nothing.  Unless I go around paying every woman I meet....  I was proud of my money haggling skills though

ZOMG Cameron! I knew it was you by the name.

[Yoggi]

thats definitely an interesting story lawl

[magnesium]

Pretty well sums up why I've never gone and never want to go to a strip club.

[Cranklanx]

LOL great story, lawl me and Bowl had a story like that, and some other buds kev and KK (canadian chris...dont ask),  we went to Fantasy World in Albuquerque NM, and we all seem'd to have that XP, like Kev just kept goin back and back for the same lady to lapdance but think he just got hustled like mad, chris fuckin didn't pay A CENT and the stripper actually walked up and they started bs'n about pizza and everyday life O.o ,  Bowl was hypnotized by the Black lady's bum in his fayse and begg'd for more, i on the other hand got like 3 for the price of 1, idk i was pretty shamshed so proly just overpayed, the rest of the night thats all they talked about LOL, "SMELL MY SHIRT I STILL SMELL LIKE HER", then kev kept goin on about how she walked out of his life LOL and i just bitched about being broke : / ....i guess the Moral is TO NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE GINA

[WarKirby]

LOL great story, lawl me and Bowl had a story like that, and some other buds kev and KK (canadian chris...dont ask),  we went to Fantasy World in Albuquerque NM, and we all seem'd to have that XP, like Kev just kept goin back and back for the same lady to lapdance but think he just got hustled like mad, chris fuckin didn't pay A CENT and the stripper actually walked up and they started bs'n about pizza and everyday life O.o ,  Bowl was hypnotized by the Black lady's bum in his fayse and begg'd for more, i on the other hand got like 3 for the price of 1, idk i was pretty shamshed so proly just overpayed, the rest of the night thats all they talked about LOL, "SMELL MY SHIRT I STILL SMELL LIKE HER", then kev kept goin on about how she walked out of his life LOL and i just bitched about being broke : / ....i guess the Moral is TO NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE GINA

what?

use more than one sentence.

i have a serious feeling of WTF?

[Yoggi]

i have no desire to go to a stripclub. why go out for what you can get at home 

[Cranklanx]

LOL great story, lawl me and Bowl had a story like that, and some other buds kev and KK (canadian chris...dont ask),  we went to Fantasy World in Albuquerque NM, and we all seem'd to have that XP, like Kev just kept goin back and back for the same lady to lapdance but think he just got hustled like mad, chris fuckin didn't pay A CENT and the stripper actually walked up and they started bs'n about pizza and everyday life O.o ,  Bowl was hypnotized by the Black lady's bum in his fayse and begg'd for more, i on the other hand got like 3 for the price of 1, idk i was pretty shamshed so proly just overpayed, the rest of the night thats all they talked about LOL, "SMELL MY SHIRT I STILL SMELL LIKE HER", then kev kept goin on about how she walked out of his life LOL and i just bitched about being broke : / ....i guess the Moral is TO NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF THE GINA

what?

use more than one sentence.

i have a serious feeling of WTF?

k well nvm then : /

[MetalMusicMan]

Andy, dude, you gotta learn to read Crank-Speak©.  It's a whole language unto itself.

Also

then kev kept goin on about how she walked out of his life

That made me lawl.

[WarKirby]

Andy, dude, you gotta learn to read Crank-Speak©.  It's a whole language unto itself.

NEVER!!!!!!

[magnesium]

CranX speak is like Druidspeak with a touch of intelligence and rogue subversion.

[Cranklanx]

Heh sry if ur unfamiliar with my UN sentence structure and grammatical errors w/e lol, i write programs not books

[MetalMusicMan]

CranX speak is like Druidspeak with a touch of intelligence and rogue subversion.

Eloquently put, sir.